A Collection of Words Left Unsaid

by Matthew Ellis

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1.
like the skies are blue you loved me, and I loved you like the birds need the sky I needed us, you and I but in came the storms you lied and you left the lighting and rain took my sun away replaced by these shades these shades of grey so give me the storm the lightning and rain bring on the floods give me more thunder bring on the pain what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger this broken heart is not in vain but it's not beating any longer I still remember you put your hand on my knee from that moment on I knew you loved me but I'll never forget how you wanted him never even denied it my love and I just weren’t enough and I wanted to fight it but I’m not that tough
2.
Gone 04:27
won't you hold me close and whisper those three words please tell me that I'm strong make me believe your lies so maybe I can get some sleep tonight we're already gone and the pain is still the same like two corpses in this bed yet we refuse to give up life this is all that’s left of you and I we’re already done so won't you go all my strength is gone it takes all I have just to face the sun each morning, knowing we’re done… we’re already gone but these memories remain like two corpses in this bed writhing in pain that’s all that’s left of you and I all that’s left’s to say goodbye we're already done so won't you go all my strength is gone it takes all I have just to face the sun each morning, knowing we’re done… won't you hold me close and whisper those three three words please tell me that I'm strong make me believe your lies so maybe I can get some sleep tonight.
3.
She hopes her baby girl doesn’t wake to find her mothers body naked in a dumpster a couple blocks away. She hates the cold street corner Where the good, godly people give her those looks They cut deeper than his hands ever could She's lost control of her own life So she takes his wad of cash and thinks of simpler times better times like when she remembered how to love like when she still had her innocence and when he's finished she goes back to her corner and does it all again blame the victim she's just a woman she's just a whore she's just a commodity and you’re the consumer who’s gonna give her what you think she needs she’s not really a person just your modern day slave you say she has a choice and I suppose she does accept the money and let you have your way or face the man who holds the key to her chains yea, I'm sure he'd let her leave, let his merchandise just walk away he respects her less than you if you can try to imagine that his modern day slave well maybe if people didn't treat others like objects or like something to use and cast aside maybe if men respected women if man didn't buy her then man couldn't sell her then maybe we could free the modern day slave
4.
Run Away 05:11
I remember that time we each packed a bag and you drove us to the bay I was so young Naive, but I thought I had it figured out It was like our own little vacation, and that's what we said But I knew It was just an escape, if only for a night to be out of his reach, to run away if only for a night I remember that time he caught you with another dragged you inside, threatened to expose you I already knew You were sobbing uncontrollably, and I didn't know what to do I smiled and acted like there was nothing wrong I wish I would have said I love you That I knew and didn't care Instead I shut my door and tried not to hear I wish you would run away you're not his property, and you deserve better just pack your bags and leave he doesn’t deserve a letter just run away maybe you’ll lose your house, but what kind of home is fear and you might end up alone for the rest of your days but what reason is that to spend the rest of your life in pain now I'm older not so naive I've tried on those shoes and I know why you didn’t leave repeated lies begin to feel like truth he kept you down, and you believed I understand why you stayed, but now you need to run away
5.
My postage stamp has a picture of the American flag beneath it is written equality so it must be true, it must be true equality for all in the red, white, and blue you say I’m free land of equality but I’m just a second class citizen this sea I drown in is red white and blue I’m sorry, I just cant love you this land of red white and blue you love it, you just have to this land of red white and blue where the masses suppress the minorities at the polls where we all have our roles feed the wealthy and starve the poor you love it, don’t you this land of the red white and blue I’m just a second class citizen so I guess it doesn’t matter what I say because the rich, white man makes the decisions and the ones in the mansions and fancy cars aren’t listening because I’m just a second class citizen God bless this land of the red white and blue God bless me and God bless you second class citizens in this land of the red white and blue
6.
Fallen 04:11
And though I've taken up this torch, just to let it burn out I'll set fire to my heart, let the flames consume my doubt And though I've tried and fallen ten thousand times before I will stand again and I will try once more My demons have knocked me down again life looks so bleak here from the ground, my friend to be like the birds in the trees they go where they will, so free Don’t look at me like that I’m sure you’ve fallen before don’t look at me like that we're all fighting our own war they whisper lies keep me paralyzed like standing still feet glued to the ground like lying there watching myself drown too scared to step forward afraid I'll fall back uncertain, untoward I know what I lack like a bird without wings, I no longer fly but like a phoenix from the flames, once again I'll rise
7.
Masquerader 03:07
You have to be the victim need everyone’s attention and no matter what you do have to keep their eyes on you Got to paint a sorry picture got to keep them in the dark portray yourself in victim’s light you have the most broken heart Exaggerate a lie manipulate the truth just so long as they are taking pity on you just so long as they are feeling sorry for you just hide behind your mask don’t let them see who you are but I see through your disguise I see through all your lies But what will you do once they can see right through you will you exaggerate a lie will you manipulate the truth paint yourself in victims light or try to stay out of sight because no matter what you do they’re gonna keep their eyes on you
8.
Priests and Prostitutes Who are we to know the path she's been called to walk along Who are we to know what he does when he's all alone Priests and Prostitutes Who are we to judges the sins of the flesh and of the mind Priests and Prostitutes God loves us one and all There isn't one of us who won't fall Let him without sin cast the first stone and the pot called the kettle black soon they will reap what they have sown from their little homes of glass did not Rahab help Israel with Joshua at Jericho and did not Jesus first appear to Magdalene upon defeating the grave but the Pharisees and Sadducees they killed Jesus Christ
9.
Lie 04:29
I fought back the tears As you put your arm around me I hate the way you make me feel but I know your words as truth no one else could ever love me I'm nothing without you Every time you’d walk away You’d let me fall and feeling so low back to you I’d crawl never learned to stand alone I should have known better I should have seen exactly who you were but at just 19 I couldn’t I wouldn’t and you wouldn’t let me it takes two to hurt one to hit and one to let him I met your knives with smiles your words with quiet pain over and over, repeated lies in time, I believe they’re true when spoken from a lovers lips what else was I to do it takes two to hurt one to hit and one to let him but I’m not listening anymore I’m done with your abuse you may have won the battles but now I win the war get in one last lie I’m walking out the door
10.
Your mind thinks in shadows of what used to be shadows of who you were shadows of who he made you you cling to shreds what you have left of living cling to the threads if you call that alive get out (run away) Get out while you still breathe get out (run away) get out, please leave (run away) he'll pull you down lock you in the dark wants nothing more than to feel you under his thumb this manipulation its no competition (run away) you're like a fiddle in the devil’s hands, he's already won (run away) my mind thinks in shadows of what used to be shadows of who he made me shadows of the pain shadows of the pain yet it lingers on (run away)
11.
Pop another vicodin throw back another shot nothing like the feel of sin and your favorite 80 proof anything to dull the pain anything to forget your name and all the mistakes from yesterday anything to keep your troubles away take a few more and wash 'em down straight from the bottle you left class behind 4 pills and 5 shots ago who cares what they all think you're at a record breaking low finish off the bottle and the vodka too maybe you’ll kill the pain but tonight it's killing you
12.
You're like the stone around my ankles as I'm cast into the sea You pull me down you watch me drown I just want to be free You're like the finger on the trigger gun pointed at my chest you love to break my heart again and again and again gun pointed at my chest you pull the trigger again and again and again you love to break my heart again and again and again You're like the voice inside my mind saying everything is fine you feed upon my fears whispering lies into my ears I just want to be free You're the like the finger on the trigger Gun pointed at my head you won't rest ‘til I'm dead
13.
Fall 03:17
I'm looking in the mirror Don't like what I see Wish I could disappear Bet they all agree There's nothing worse, Nothing worse than falling I'm on the brink of despair Can barely hold my ground And I doubt they'd care fell and hit the ground There's too much weight Can barely hold it up Just one more mistake I feel like giving up I don't want to fall But I can no longer stand Tell me, what would you do If I outstretched my hand Would you hold me up Would you push me down Or do nothing at all And watch me fall I can see the cracks begin to form I can feel the ground begin to give Tell me, would you save me from this storm Rescue me and let me live We'll never know Cause' I'll never ask rather go it alone Won't take the risk
14.
Broken 03:40
You tell me your secrets So deep and so dark you're greatest regrets and how you fell apart You're broken, and it's easy to see You're chained, and you want to be free You're broken, yea you're down on your knees You're chained, and it's heartache for me You're broken, and it's easy to see You're chained, but you just can't brake free Traded a finger down your throat For white powder up your nose tryin' your best to stay afloat But you're drowning, and nobody knows There's just this one thing I want to do Say it's ok Wrap my arms around you There's just this one thing I want to do Say it's ok Don’t let your past define you
15.
Hearts 04:37
We're all just broken hearts but we pretend we got it together like we haven't fallen apart like we still believe in forever but we're all just broken hearts and we should know better 'cause we're all just broken hearts we're all just broken hearts Well you think she's got it all together and that's what she'd have you believe but you don't feel how his hands haunt her and you don't hear the lies he whispers in her ears at night she's broken and losing hope she knows she'll never win this fight Well you think he's got it figured out and that's what he'd have you believe but you don't feel all his pain and doubt and you don't hear the loneliness his anguish in the night he's broken and losing hope he knows he'll never win this fight
16.
Like a man lost in the desert, I'm wandering through Just praying for rain Just looking for you Like a man lost in the desert, there's a hunger in my eyes Searching for what I can't find Searching for the truth amongst their lies Like a man lost in the desert, I'm weak and weary. I try to go on but all I seem to do is fall. I try to stand, but the voices say I can't on my own they would be right but I have you Lord, and You've already won that fight. I'm a man lost in the desert but Lord, You are faithful. You provide and You love Lord you are faithful to this man lost in the desert
17.
Secret 02:40
I see you keep a secret you must never let them know if they learn the truth they will never let you go You walk amongst the lions you act the part in daylight yet in the darkness you cry they would all know why they must never know you must never let it show tears give you away can't let them see you cry it is better to obey you don't want to die They must never know you must never let it show let your lips speak the words their ears wish to hear save the truth for the birds you wouldn't want to disappear Just keep hoping for the day you can run away but you know they'd see it coming somehow it's safer just to stay I see you keep a secret I bet they already know but don't give them a show they will never let you go
18.
My darkest hour I flee from you my time of need I turn away I know I’ve failed you time and time again but if not for me then please, for them Let not their hearts be stone show them they are not alone that You are the light in the darkness Let not their hearts be stone show them they are not on their own that You’re the life among the dead I know I’ve failed you time and time again but if not for me then please, for them
19.
I know it isn’t easy I know you’ve lost all hope I know it isn’t what you wanted I know you’ve lost your way And though your life has got you down Please, don’t throw it away In your quiet desperation The tempting cliffs will call And without any hesitation I will save you from the fall And though the voices taunt you Don’t listen to their lies And as they try to brake you I will save you from their cries I can’t promise you’ll find true love Or have that ever after That you’ll have naught to be afraid of but I I promise you You will always have me and I will never leave
20.
Oceans 05:16
I'll lay here quiet as the waters rise around me just rest a moment as they consume me I'll lay here quiet and drink the oceans in I’m already at the bottom cant sink further than where I’ve been I wake to the panic the fear of drowning I open my eyes to the world around me (this could really be the end) I cry out, but it makes no sound just life escaping from my lips I reach up, but all I find is the sea the cool night air evades me I kick my feet, but my legs have grown so weary the pale moonlight will sing me to sleep It’s sink or swim and I’m tired of drowning it’s do or die and I want to breathe again it’s sink or swim and I’m sick of dying it’s do or die I'll learn to swim once more I fear I'll miss the oceans in my lungs this watery grave was beginning to feel like home

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Debut album!

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released July 1, 2014

All music written, performed, and recorded by Matthew Ellis.
Album mixed and mastered by Paul Wise at Studio 33.
Photography by Jon Cole.

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Matthew Ellis Ohio

Singer-Songwriter, Scientist, Fur-Father

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